These past few years have been pretty strange. My grandma had a severe stroke early last year.
She could barely move.
When we all came to visit her at the hospital, she looked up at us with puzzled eyes.
"Who are they?" she asked.
That was the scariest moment of my life.
Her condition got worse...
I realised that with my grandma's life becoming less and less certain, I had not been the greatest grand daughter. Constantly putting off visits to her place because I always seemed to be 'busy'; the reality was, I needed to make more time for her.
Because that's what really matters.
Family.
Fortunately enough, she slowly got better. Day by day, she began to remember...
She started learning to walk again,
to move her legs,
to move her fingers...
As I watched her practice - every week, I made a promise to myself. That when she was to return home, I would make her my priority. That I would come to visit her every week. No excuses.
And so ever since, despite the few times the 'excuse' habit resurfaced, I have been doing just that.
And in doing so, I have begun to notice many things, that I have never noticed before.
WITH LOVE TO
MY GRANDMA
inspired by 'Days with My Father'
Patience is one of my grandma's key traits.
I have noticed that she can sit in front of the TV for hours on end. Simply staring at its blank screen until somebody comes and turns it on.
Even then, she will sit and watch it contently, without once changing the channel.
Similarly, she is easily entertained. I placed this newspaper (one that she has read many times before) in front her hands.
I came back 4 hours later to find that she was still in the same position, reading the same newspaper.
She is a devoted Buddhist.
and can be found praying, or running her fingers through these beads as she recites the Gods names.
Sometimes, I find her like this - staring off into space.
I always wonder what she's thinking about...
This was taken after I asked my grandma to be in my documentary and photography task.
She started tearing up as she made her way to the couch. My dad asked her what was wrong, and she replied,
"I'm just so happy"
Here, she is showing off her younger self.
Whenever I took a picture of my grandma, she would constantly comment on how old she had gotten, always making sure to tell me how pretty she used to be.
She would say, "Go and show them a picture of me"
And so here it is: her beautiful 30 year old self compared to her still-and-equally-as-beautiful 84 year old self.
After the stroke, and learning how to walk again, my grandma only needed the aid of a walking stick. However, after many unexpected collapses, followed by countless trips back to the hospital, my grandma has lost her confidence in walking.
This is her walking frame is now her walking stick. Its sturdy structure is reassuring, its supportive handles, comforting.
When I asked my grandma if she would go on a walk with me she was reluctant. Eventually, after much coaxing from my dad and aunty, she agreed to.
It took her a great effort to walk down the front steps. Even with my dad, and the walking stick's aid, she was scared. Slowly, he walked her down the street.
Step by step.
Step by step.
She became more sure of her footing. Slowly, her muscles began to relax.
Gently and gradually, my dad began to loosen his arm.
Inch by inch, he moved away....
...until he was no longer holding her.
Slowly but surely, she became more and more confident with herself.
She even decided to cross the road!
And here she's showing one of her many winter projects for us when we were little. This is by far, the warmest and coziest jumper I have ever worn!
As you can see, it took a great amount of energy from to do something that we normally take for granted. It's times like this that you learn to truly appreciate what you already have.
We're all so proud of you grandma!
And thanks to this project task, I was able to spend more time with my grandma - more than I have had in a long time. I was able to learn of her past, her views on life, her regrets, her cherished moments. Through some intimate moments, thoughts and beliefs, I was able to share a closer bond with her. And through doing so, I am now able to see her as the wonderfully strong, brave, sweet and caring woman that is my beloved grandma - my ba noi.
